Granted, but you have cottage cheese thighs and a big butt

I wish I could find my favorite pen

Granted. But it is out of ink and they don't sell the refills any longer...

I wish I had a plate of warm homemade chocolate chips cookies right now

Granted but they will be burnt

I wish I didn't have any homework

Granted. But you never learn anything and flunk out of school.

I wish I understood the mysteries of how the pyramids were built

Granted, but it turns out it was just tens of thousands of men slaving for centuries to lift 1 ton blocks of concrete to create big ass mausoleums for tyrading pharoahs. Which isn't nearly as cool as believing that aliens built them.

I wish I didn't have to go to 3 different 7-11's to find coke slurpee and all three of them were out.

Granted. But you will be allergic to them.

I wish I wasn't bored...

Granted. But you will be on a manic high for the rest of your life that causes you to spontaneously combust.

I wish I had a really good book to read... the kind that keeps me up reading until 4 in the morning

Granted. But you won't be able to stop reading it.

I wish my friends were online.

granted but they all block you

I wish I wasn't so tired

Granted but you're so hyper and get drunk and go out with 14 boys at the same time.

I wish I was finally in High School, instead of waiting until September.

Granted but you quickly find out it's not all that it's crack up to be.
(although it really is! Best years of my life )

I wish I had some pizza right now

Granted, but everyone you know takes a slice before you get any.

I wish I was a kitty

Granted, but you get hit by a car...9 times

I wish I had some tylenol =.='

Granted but you take too much and get liver poisoning and now you're dead.

I wish I had a better choice of classes this Fall.

granted but you fail all your exams for them
i wish there wasn't an actuall war going on in my form

Granted but its so peaceful you get bored

I wish I wasn't marked in as late at school today (I was not late actually, long story)

granted but you get marked as late for every other day

I wish I doing my music theory didn't give me a headache

Granted, but now it gives you a tummy ache

I wish I had something to do.

granted, but you will get bored easily.

I wish I was a cookie? (I have no idea where that came from....)

Granted, but I eated you!

I wish I had a manicure...

Granted, but it looks no different than your nails now and you paid really high on it.

I wish I knew magic (or for it to be real at least)

Granted but you end up killing yourself.
I wish Heath Ledger was alive.

Granted, but he's now a flesh eating, braaaiiiinnnsss craving zmobie! And I have to kill him.

I wish all my laundry was done.

Granted but they will suffocate you when you put them on.
I wish for something.

Granted, but it turns out being nothing.

I wish I had another Italian Ice cup T-T
lemon flavored :D