Granted, but then the regular parking would be really difficult.

I wish I were older

Granted, but you're now 99 years old and you can't do anything.

I wish I had more pizza.

Granted, but it was made a little too close to the rat poison, so now you're dead. Sorry.

I wish this guy would stop calling me.

Granted but your cellphone would disappear...

I wish I wasn't out of soda

Granted, but now you're out of every other drink.

I wish I had a pack of Flamin' hot cheetos

Granted but it will be flamin coz it will be on fire :P

I wish for new PC

Granted but your new PC will be incredibly slow and it crashes easily so easily that you can't play sims on it

I wish I could lose more weight

granted but you loose so mush you disappear

I wish I had a cherry

Granted, cherries start raining down on you and do not stop until you have 6.02 x 10^22 cherries. Then, because of your wish, the world can no longer support the weight of all these cherries and implodes on itself... ending life on earth for all time.

I wish I had the patent to aerogel!

If you don't know: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kHnen2nSmDY

Granted, but then aerogel wouldn't have all of the features it does now.

I wish I could go to Paris.

Granted, welcome to Paris, Virginia, United States. Population: 49. Enjoy your time here!

I wish I had an Alienware Gamer PC

Granted, but it explodes so YOU expode too!

I wish I liked pineapples!

Granted but you will be allergic to it

I wish I could see the Aurora

Granted but only once

I wish I had my own computer

granted, but your still force to share, and when it brakes, it's your responsibility.

I wish I were a model.

granted, but you're a computer model, one of those house-sized ones from 1946 whose sole purpose is to calculate the value of pi.

I wish I had a space cookie.

"Edited to fit new wish

Granted, but your still dough and there's no one out there to cook you and finish the transformation.

I wish I could use magic and not have any bad consequences.

Granted, but you die the next day from something completely irrelevant. For example, you get hit by a bus.

I wish I was skinnier.

Granted, but you will never eat.

I wish I had a singing chicken.

Granted, but it has the voice of Gilbert Gottfried and never shuts the hell up

I wish Smurfs were real.

Granted, but they would visit, never leave and keep you awake all night

I wish I wasn't allergic to cats

granted, but now you're allergic to everything else on the planet, so you kill yourself before you die a slow, painful, sneezy death.

I wish I were an Oscar Meyer weiner!

Granted, but people eat you.

I wish that it wasn't so damned hot (98 degrees!).

Granted, but now it's -859 K... and you're dead

I wish I had another lava lamp

Granted, but then it would be the exact opposite (-98 degrees)

I wish I was a trillionaire.