Tonight, my mother and I got adjusted to the power being back on after being in the dark since last night.

Then came the question I thought I would never ask because I am famous for the Hard Rock Harem here. I said:

"Mom, who should I marry?"

And mom said from experience:

"Someone who is good for you and also good to you..."

This moment is one that says "That's All That Really Matters".

I encourage you to tell of your own revelations when the #1 thing that is your challenge is then cut through the proverbial forest by trampling elephants, through the way to flatten the bamboo and make you see the other side of the challenge.

What matters in my life? My parents + little brother, our pet(s) and some other family. I really can't pick between one of my parents, have a special bond with both of them in a different way, difficult to describe how exactly. My father is the man of the advice based on experience (asked or not asked advice) + sharing the same sort of lame and pun related humor and my mother I've a more personal based talks relationship with + common interest in pro cycling. And my little brother is just as special and important as our parents, as brothers from the same mother, with our talks about guyish YA stuff like gaming.

During the evening, I came to the conclusion that we humans make terrible loners.

When my son was graduating from college and I had gone out for the ceremony, we were walking around his campus and he was talking to me about things he had done, occasionally mentioning some friends or something his father had done with him. It hit me that he was moving on in his life and that we were at a crossroads. I felt a little distant from him, living so far away and being so wrapped up in my own stuff. And it felt like he was slipping away from me. There had been so many petty squabbles where we had slipped into old, familiar roles of mother and child and he was resisting them because he was an adult now. I knew that my influence with him was gone and that it was time to just accept him as an adult, honor him, and focus on our friendship. I told him, in a quiet moment, that he mattered to me more than anything and that I never wanted to lose him from my life. I told him that I would do whatever it took to keep our relationship strong and that I loved him dearly. I repeated the "I love you" part. I believe he heard me.

My fiancé, siblings, my father & step-mother, my mother - although she's no longer with us, and my best friends.
Especially my younger siblings, being that they're all 10-15 years younger than me, it's hard not to slip into a parental role, especially since our Mum died. I always look forward to seeing them and as soon as I walk through the door all 4 of them dive at me and they're all talking over each other trying to tell me all kinds of little stories. I love taking them places, I think this Christmas I'm going to take my 8 year old sister ice-skating. She recently found out my Mum was an ice skater and thought it was really interesting. I'm still trying to work out what to do with each of the other kids. I'll probably take the 4 year old to Build-a-Bear and the 13 year old into Manchester for a walk around the Arndale on the hunt for Guns n' Roses albums / Season 7 of HIMYM / whatever else he's interested in. Not sure what to do with the 11 year old though, but I'll think of something.