Silenced

In the simplest term possible, I sabotaged myself. I knew that everything I said would be used against me, yet I chose to speak. They tormented me about every little thing I said. If I forgot the homework, I was stupid. If I had a crush on somebody, I was a slut. If I was in any mood other than downright elation, I was depressed. My friends left me so that they could salvage some of their social status. My family, well, they were never there for me. Everybody was either a bystander or a bully.

I felt small and weak for the longest time. They were torturing me and I handing them the ammo. I was basically handing my opposite the gun. So one day, I just stopped and realized that I could stop this. I could stop my agony right there and then. So, I closed my mouth. And ever since that day, my silence has been a defense.


You can’t hurt me because I have no words to say. I was taunted for a while, but it stopped eventually. My family couldn’t care less. The teachers got over it. And, finally, I was off in my own world, where nobody could reach me. It was wonderful. But hideously lonely.


Whenever anybody met me, they were put off by my silence and left me alone. I was satisfied, to say in the least. But then, Chase came along. He knew I didn’t talk. But yet he introduced himself as if I was any other girl.


“Hey! I’m Chase! You must be Chastity. We should hang out sometime!”


I was put off. He was outlandishly open, and had on a goofy, lopsided smile. His bushy hair didn’t help even out his childish appearance. It took me a moment to shake his outstretched hand. He looked so innocent. I couldn’t imagine him hurting me like the others.


Stay strong, I told myself. But I wasn’t entirely sure what that meant anymore.

Silenced: Chapter 2

I breathed in the fresh autumn air. The one thing I loved about school was the walk home. I loved feeling connected to nature and the feeling of not being pressured to “be normal”.

I had just closed my eyes to enjoy the fresh breeze when I tripped, scattering my books and scraping my knee. I grimaced and looked up for a moment, shutting my eyes and hoping my leg wasn’t bleeding. I went to check when I jumped, startled by a voice.

“It’s fine! It’s just me!” Chase exclaimed. “Are you okay?”

I nodded my head and quickly jumped up, not bothering to check my knee. Chase was bending over to pick up my books. I silently wished that I could ask him if he was following me. Instead, I began to help him clean up my stuff.

“I know you’re thinking, and, no, I wasn’t following you.” Chase smiled, and I giggled. “I wasn’t! I was about to turn. I swear. I just moved here and, well, I got lost.”

He lowered his voice on the last few words, which only made me laugh harder. We finished picking up my books and I shoved them into my bag, not really caring if any of the pages tore. When I stood up, I felt the full blow of my injured knee.

Chase noticed my struggle to stand up right. “You’re bleeding! Are you sure you’re okay? My house is just a street away; I could get you a Band-Aid!”

I shook my head, trying not to show my surprise. This boy hardly knew me, yet he was being nicer than the entire school. He didn’t seem to mind that I didn’t talk. Which wasn’t as refreshing as it was weird.

“Well, okay. But, maybe we can hang out sometime?”
After a while, I accepted, equally excited that I might have a friend, and scared that I was walking into a trap.

Silenced: Chapter 3

I had never been in a more awkward situation in my life. I promised Chase that I would hang out with him, but I assumed it would be doing something he enjoyed. Or at the very least, that he would talk enough for both of us. No such luck. We sat in an awkward silence outside on one of the park benches because I said that I would rather be outside.

I grabbed my emergency pen and paper. Whenever I really needed to communicate with somebody, I would write down what I couldn’t say. I didn’t really use it often, and only with people I trusted. Using it all the time would completely ruin the whole idea of not talking.

I scrawled down “Why aren’t you talking?”

He read it, obviously a bit surprised at my effort to communicate. “Well, uh, I was waiting for you to do something. I don’t expect you to suddenly start talking about every little thing, but something would be nice.”

I continued writing. “Why are you being so nice to me?”

Chase fumbled for words. “Well, uh, you know. You seem nice, and well, those girls were being awfully mean to you. I figured you, uh, might need a friend.”
I grinned bigger than I had in months. The pen and paper found their way back into my bag and I grabbed onto Chase’s arm. If he wanted me to show him something, then I’d show him something.
I dragged Chase for a full two blocks, grinning all the way. I had forgotten how fun it was to have a friend. I didn’t stop until we reached my special spot. A quiet spot next to the creek, where I could be with nature all I wanted.

I sat down, and Chase followed my lead. He opened his mouth to talk, but I motioned for him to be quiet. Even when I was a little girl who could never stop talking, I never spoke a word down here. It was just a place where I could get away from it all and find myself. It was the only place where I was certain I would be happy.

I don't have the lots I was using, the custom content, any of my pose boxes, or even the neighborhood ... it looks like it has to stop here.

I had never been in a more awkward situation in my life. I promised Chase that I would hang out with him, but I assumed it would be doing something he enjoyed. Or at the very least, that he would talk enough for both of us. No such luck. We sat in an awkward silence outside on one of the park benches because I said that I would rather be outside. I grabbed my emergency pen and paper. Whenever I really needed to communicate with somebody, I would write down what I couldn’t say. I didn’t really use it often, and only with people I trusted. Using it all the time would completely ruin the whole idea of not talking. I scrawled down “Why aren’t you talking?” He read it, obviously a bit surprised at my effort to communicate. “Well, uh, I was waiting for you to do something. I don’t expect you to suddenly start talking about every little thing, but something would be nice.” I continued writing. “Why are you being so nice to me?” Chase fumbled for words. “Well, uh, you know. You seem nice, and well, those girls were being awfully mean to you. I figured you, uh, might need a friend.” I grinned bigger than I had in months. The pen and paper found their way back into my bag and I grabbed onto Chase’s arm. If he wanted me to show him something, then I’d show him something. I dragged Chase for a full two blocks, grinning all the way. I had forgotten how fun it was to have a friend. I didn’t stop until we reached my special spot. A quiet spot next to the creek, where I could be with nature all I wanted. I sat down, and Chase followed my lead. He opened his mouth to talk, but I motioned for him to be quiet. Even when I was a little girl who could never stop talking, I never spoke a word down here. It was just a place where I could get away from it all and find myself. It was the only place where I was certain I would be happy.