Alrights, fives, I'm gonna axe y'all a question.

Let's say 99% of the world's population just vanishes into the thin air in some rapture-like event or insteadt hey all just die from some Captain Trips-esque virus, purging out their guts from both ends like they ordered take out from one of the greasy, non-hipster organic vegan gluten-free paleo food trucks. Now after the inevitable confusion/horror/selfish looting/mourning and right before the insanity inevitably sets in, a question:

Do you free all the animals from the zoo and let them do their own thing? Do you keep them in captivity but still care for all of them, doing the work of presumably some hundred plus staff? Only keep a few? Throw a toddler down there and go Harambe on them? Just ignore the animals and continue looting?

Serious answers only. If you don't have a zoo near you, pretend.

I live pretty close to Cincinnati so I was tempted to go with option 3, but if I only get one answer I'll have to go with freeing them. I'd be terrified they might attack me or one of the few* people left on Earth while being freed, and some of them might be confused or start eating one another but I can't just leave them all in there to die. There's no way I could feed and care for the entire zoo, so that option's out. I'd probably keep some of the turtles, sloths, and koalas if there were any there.

*There's still 70 million people on Earth in this scenario, right? Is my math that bad?

If 99% of all people disappear then I'll have my own problems to deal with before a zoo. If I'm already at the zoo then it's time to look for the weapons meant for harambe. After the car is loaded I open cages, get the hell out asap, head for CostCo. I don't think many of the animals will be able to adjust to non-captivity well, but it's better than starving. Wait a minute, what about the marine animals? Oh shit.

Right. If 99% of all the people "disappeared" then I'm in zombie apocalypse mode. Zoo animals are pretty much on the bottom of the list that includes "how do I maintain food, power and sanitation absent a good portion of the people necessary to keep nuclear reactors and modern transportation systems running" and "OMG, the whole city is still on fire, including the zoo, from when all the planes and cars crash" from this thing you're imagining.

I'm not the most animal friendly person out there, but I'm not an out and outright dick about it, but... yeah, screw the animals. Your scenario is like asking what I'm gonna do for my birthday, if Godzilla eats my legs. Hello? You just made Godzilla real, and now I've got no legs. My serious answer? You'd have to be stupid to be worrying about the animals in this case. Even if you were a zookeeper and zoo animals were literally your job every day. Some things just shouldn't be problems when you've got much, much bigger problems.

I would follow my training and my family and I would feed all the animals in the zoo closest to us.

Can't let this institution die along with its living assets to the remaining public.

Thank you everyone who has responded to thread or answered the poll with the exception of Mr Mook.

Aw hell nah, can I get a witness rn? Quuurl, I didn't axe about any of that, just zoo animals. I have reported you to moderators and have lodged a formal application for your deportation to The Sims Resource.

I would typically end up in another dilemma in that I don't want to free them because the tigers will then come to eat me, and I wont feed them because I don't have any. I would then have to ignore them, but frankly I would be worried that someone would free them and run far away from any zoo, hoping I will never see them again.

... and what is Option 3 really? I never understand OP in this thread. I'm just always left in a state of disbelief that someone can even write like that. Oh ... is that someone goes to kill them? I will probably do that then, with the big dangerous one's and keep the goodies. If I can find a shotgun for myself I would probably do i, I'm being a responsible adult right, so I can kill them no problem. It's just basic survival instinct, either you or me.

Option three is the "shoot them all and let god decide" choice.

Oh, you want us to shoot the animals. And for what? I don't want to needlessly spend bullets, the remaining 1% of people I'm sure are seething and hungry for the first official purge season in history. The bullets I'm saving are meant for those people, the uncaged animals could potentially act as living obstacles, distractions, and sight reduction. Also consider that many of these animals would have gentle qualities: floppy ears, flee before fight, and territorial absence. The freedom granted to gentle animals becomes good karma through good deeds. I think Karma is the only way to go in the situation you give us because anyone that could perform audits has left the planet, and now there's no way to earn clear. I need that karma to offset my stupid, being kind to gentle animals means lots of good karma, bullets give me a way to protect myself if my luck runs out and I can't run anymore.

I mean, with 99% of everyone gone, waste management can't function. I would be worried about fecal el nino. But if all this about sh**ting the animals... each of you go to an animal with your weapon of choice and ask yourself if that creature would murder you for enjoyment if the situation were reversed. Wouldn't they choose good deeds and good karma? You see, the easter bunny hides candy eggs so that people who are skipping gaily along with their baskets will see the candy eggs and bend down for a treat. But then a chocolate egg will drop out of someone's pocket while they lean over and it will be very funny, and the easter bunny will pinch their cheek making them blush red. And it will be gay and merry with everyone giggling with their cheeks blushing red. The easter bunny wouldn't shoot anyone.

Oh? Well, I'm an athiest so who cares haha

Yeah, how about I dig a hole for you to jump into and give you a dirt hat?

Probably no time, thus ignoring them. Luckily, it's no regular zoo, but a safari park. For shooting I first have to visit a police station or the nearby airbase of our airforce as weapons are illegal here.

(Thank you for finally giving me a reason to use this gif, you human equivalent of bubble and squeak.)

Yes, same here, so probably wouldn't be an option. I'll rather ignore then than being chewed up bit by bit.

Why is there no "attempt to create your own animal army" option?

In all seriousness, though, it would kind of be a bit of a case-by-case basis (and assuming, as others have, that there aren't more pressing concerns at the moment). Prey and petting zoo animals would be able to be freed no problem (except maybe to the surrounding ecosystem, but, seeing how we're apparently post-apocalypse here, the surrounding ecosystem is probably already shot-to-shit somewhat anyway, so it might actually help if anything else). Larger, also tend-to-gentle (or at least less of a threat to humans) animals, like Gorillas and Chimps, also could be freed no problem, especially if you know just enough about their behavior to keep them from attacking you (ex; do not stare down or do something that could be thought of as staring down a Gorilla. They take this as a threat/challenge, and will attack. Likewise, untrained Chimps tend to smile when they are scared, so unless you're dealing with one who has worked in show biz, odds are you're dealing with a freaked-out animal and therefore should be cautious).

It's when you get to the predators or animals that can do serious harm to humans (like hippos, surprisingly enough) that you need to start or consider euthanizing. After all, if you just let them out, you're going to have to deal with them sooner or later, and just letting them starve is cruel, even if you don't like them or they are dangerous. Small but venomous animals like scorpions and certain snakes and spiders you definitely want to take out, because they can take you out very easily later. And absolutely FUCK dealing with Anacondas, crocs, and gators --even though anacondas aren't poisonous and often don't get large enough to fully eat a full-grown human (unless said human is rather short), they can and will still strangle or crush the shit out of you.

The big cats you might be alright to free if you can rig something up so that not only can you free them from a distance but also get them to stay clear of whatever "territory" you yourself have set up (maybe something so that you can rid yourself of one of the larger herds of prey animals and get the cats to chase after them rather than hanging around where you are.

The wolves (if available) and elephants, however, you will want to do the "keep in enclosure and feed" option until such time as you have earned their trust so that you can free them and have them help you out. Wolves (within areas such as nature preserves) have been known to "adopt" adult humans into their packs, so that way you would get bodyguards/hunting companions (since you'll have to start hunting and gathering your own food eventually) that, unlike even a trained dog, would not be completely reliant on you, so that way they would attack anything trying to hurt you, while at the same time, you don't have to worry as much about them having to rely on you as much (or at least, they would need less training in order to re-adapt to the wild). As for the elephants, they would make excellent mounts, and really, who (short of someone possessing a tank) would try and fuck with you then?

Wow, I put way too much thought into this....

Which is why I nominated: Do not worry about the fucking animals. You've got an apocalypse to attend. It's like worrying about how you're going to wash your hair after you've survived an air disaster in the Andes. You've got more important things to worry about like "which one of my fellow travellers gets barbecue and which one gets special sauce?"

Considering the majority of humanity would be gone and assuming animal life is not included in the equation, then zoo animals are not on the top of the list of animal rights to just be set free. If such a catastrophe should happen, I'm sure there would be no electricity or other necessities of life working. Animals would be at the top of the food chain, considering most could not survive on their own living outside their normal domain and some would become hunters of human survivors. Birds could be freed as they can migrate to areas which suit them. Lions and tigers and bears could be kept well fed by reconstructing laws against crime. (oh my) (:

Yeah, except everyone else had the decency to answer the simple question. You know what you are, Mook? You're like that feeling when you're craving some vegemite on toast and you go into the freezer for some bread and you see you got a couple of slices left and you take it out AND IT'S JUST THE GODDAMN CRUST ENDS OF THE LOAF. YOU'RE THE GODDAMN CRUST ENDS OF THE BREAD LOAF, DOING NOTHING BUT WASTING MY GODDAMN TIME AND DISAPPOINTING EVERYONE.

Nothing to worry about pirate, start eating bread without crust instead, problem solved ... and don't you dear talking yourself out of it!

I don't mind crusts, V, but not on the GOSH DANG base of the slice of bread. Disgusting.

Shout out to the 22 people who voted out of the, like, 1300 views this thread has somehow gotten.

*sees poll*
<_<
>_>
Only poll within 16 pages because they disabled polls to prevent poll abuse. You must have special permission and that permission, let me guess, is guns. I tried to make one yesterday and preview but it didn't give me the options.

If you stay focused on the bread, you're just not seeing the real problem here. Stop eating vegemite. It's not jam. It's not.

I'm intolerant to gluten, yet another discussion I don't need to worry about :p