Hello
I'm writing this unusual message to you, because I think I must explain to you something which doesn't seem important because it happened a long time ago. About 13 years ago I became a pain in the ass who offended many people with homophobic etc. comments making me an undesirable person to many of you. At that time I was convinced I was right but after some time I figured out there was something wrong with me, not with any of you. I decided to take some time and rethink my attitude and came to a conclusion that I needed to start looking for help.

My horrible attitude which started in 2011 was a result of past bullying in primary and secondary school which was unnoticed by anyone. As I was a sensitive and shy kid, I couldn't defend myself against those who hurt me and couldn't pluck up the courage to deal with it efficiently. I kept treating bullying as something I deserved because it was the only way in which I could gain attention. All those horrible things kept piling up and all the bad experience had a profound impact on my well-being and the antisocial attitude I kept exhibiting here. Now, after years of therapy I figured out I was so emotionally damaged that being a troll was the only way in which I could gain anyone's attention. Subconsciously, I copied the abusive behaviour I had experienced. Apparently, it was a cry for help. At that time I was screaming inside and no one cared how hurt I had been for so many years. My relatives either didn't know or didn't care what I had been through. Years of mistreatment, loneliness, feeling ignored, unwanted, unloveable and worthless made me a jerk, whom I had never wanted to be.

After many years I realised that the homophobic comments I used to make were a mask which was supposed to hide my real sexual preferences. Now I can say I'm gay and after years of hesitation I no longer want to hide it. I think that the MTS community deserves to know the truth because I hurt many of you so much and now I'm so sorry for everything. Nobody out there deserved any insults or mistreatment no matter what I'd been through in the past. It's my problem and you didn't deserve to be the scapegoat. I want to sincerely apologise to anyone who felt offended by my past behaviour. If only I could turn back time, but I know it's impossible.

I'm a better person now, having come to terms with my sexuality and the fact that I was the one who needed counselling.

Hope I didn't bore you to death.
Wojtek

Hi Wojtek,

I don't think we've ever had any direct interactions (I've only been an official member for a year, but I've been a reader/downloader on several Sims sites since probably 2010), but I still had a sense of relief seeing this.
At some point while digging through very old threads, I had seen some of those arguments preserved in time. Admittedly, I've held that association in mind each time I've seen your username since then. I've hesitated when it came to including your creations in a list I keep of the mods I use based on that memory.

It's even something that prevented me from being comfortable responding to your feedback thread about your most recent CC hair- which as a hair creator and tutorial writer, I'd usually love to do! I've often wondered if I was remembering accurately, or if it was exaggerated by the forum culture of the time, and whether it was fair of me to have that bias when you'd personally done me no wrong. I think I'd seen the old discussion on MATY, which certainly wasn't a place that brought out the best in anyone.

Seeing this (and your most recent post in the What's Happening In Your Game Right Now? thread), it's nice to know that this isn't something that would simply fade into the past unaccounted for but actually has a resolution. I was certainly troubled online as a teenager, so I'm at least familiar with what it's like to be looking back on those days. It can take a surprisingly long time to process that and come out on the other side. I've recently reconnected with the friends from those difficult times, and experienced healing those wounds a decade later.
So, it may not mean much coming from a stranger, but I'm proud to see you make it to this side. I hope those who were personally affected can feel the same way, or at least at peace with it.

I wish you the best with this new path in your life, and everything that feeling secure in your identity will bring you. And thank you for your creations and contributions, too.

My dearest Wojcio, I think it's a long time ago and I remember most your pictures of your sims! I still love you.

This is really beautiful to see. I never had direct experiences with you, I'm just a peripheral member of the community, but I had heard about interactions with you when I went hunting for your content (your de-accessorised hairs are things I can't live without). You are a very powerful reminder that people can change, and that growth can happen. Knowing that there was pain behind all of that lashing out doesn't excuse or justify it, but it does recontextualise it and now it gives you a point to move forward from. It can't take away the hurt that's been done, but every interaction now is a fresh slate to show who you are.

Hey Wojtek, nice to see a name that's been around here for an eternity. I haven't been paying attention at all for quite a few years, but on MTS I think we've all heard of ol' Wojtek

You're certainly not the first Simmer or the last to find themselves being gay, hahaha. To this day i can still count the amount of seriously involved male Simmers on one hand, who are genuine heterosexuals....it's just a fact really. I can also certainly empathise with what you've been through as i've become familiar with Polish culture in recent years and heard some complicated stories from friends and exes who've grown up there, experiencing a similar toxic and hostile attitude. Compared to say, the Czechs or the Germans there is a heavy weight of religious dogma weighing down on people and it can really express itself in nasty ways, even today. It's a decade and a half of wealth and prosperity that have set this positive change in motion now, so I would nevertheless say it's a pleasant country, probably also to live in, but the people are generally not open-minded to say the least. All the more reason to celebrate progress that has been made in the current decade.

To that end, I hope you've found a good place and the confidence to love and appreciate yourself? Despite the noise, there's a lot to enjoy about being a gay man and enjoying yourself in LGBT+ spaces. They exist in Poland, too - I've been there myself. I highly highly recommend meeting some people in Poznań, if you haven't already, as it's really a nice city with a handful of very charming and welcoming locations. Otherwise you could certainly find some friends in Kraków or Warszawa. Being gay....I wouldn't change it for the world, and you'll hopefully soon see that we're in a good place to enjoy life, almost anywhere in Europe and certainly in queer spaces in Poland. It really gets better.

Greets,
Pi

Wojtek and Pi in the same thread? Have I teleported back in time?

Anyway, it's great to see you come to terms with your own identity. I remember having a couple 'sour' interactions with you long ago. But we as they say, it's all water under the bridge at this point.

Thanks for your support. It's hard, but life goes on despite all the hardships.