Bwaaaaaaaains.... BWAAAAAAINSSZZZzzzz!

Had a bad late shift yesterday, didn't sleep well, and then had an early shift. Battery level is hovering at about 0.05% now.

But at least there was cake. Otherwise I don't think I would've gotten through either of those shifts...

And I've got "hell on wheels" the rest of the week - more shifts, and barely any time to wind down due to some stupid planning from management (meetings, etc.) that's of course put to my days/time off. Probably gonna walk around like a zombie the rest of the week...

EDIT: Overtime and half-bad shift, too much stress to get everything done

Well, looking back on the year, we've had our fair share of malfunctioning grievances.

Keep at it and I'm satisfied to say I have moved on as a human. Starting to give no fucks, take no shit, and do no harm. I'm growing up but it's in sort of a begrudging manner. I can have my moments as I am a human and not a computer, which are only as smart as those who programmed them.

This is not goodbye, but a hello to embracing the day, come rain or shine.

Blargh! For the first anniversary of this thread, I just got off the phone after OVER 20 MINUTES getting ran around! I wanted to call my doctor about weaning off a pill and it ended up being a shit show that required my father, who chaperoned me to my appointments for as long as I could remember, to take the wheel.

I feel like I want to eat a New York Style cheesecake. The whole god-damned custard pie that it is.

Today, on "Panda SNAFU"

Panda woke up in the middle of the night to a bad allergic reaction in her right eye that lasted 8-9 hours.

Panda suffers from numerous allergies from plant pollens. Trees, flowers, and grasses are her enemies.

This, aside from excuses to cuddle close to warm men, is her reason she likes winter or rainy days.

Dentist appointment. Everything fine, except removed some leftover plaque (tartar? whatever it's called) - it's THE most awful thing a dentist can do to me (that sensation from the tool they use go through the entire body, almost like mini electric jolts, and I almost jump out of the chair). I had a tooth removed a while back, and quite frankly that wan't half as bad... Anyway, at least it's a while until the next time, and hopefully I won't have to remove any more of that (didn't go to the dentist for maybe 8-10 years-ish years, until that tooth decided to get infected, so the stuff probably got the chance to build up a bit around that time - I've had some removed with every appointment. The first round was torture...).

But all in all, the appointment didn't take more than maybe 15 minutes. So now I've got that banana taste of fluoride that starts out nice, but after about ten minutes it tastes like I'm busy eating a truckload of bananas and it's getting ever so slightly nauseating, and keeps on giving the rest of the day . Everything did look fine, so I'm not really complaining.

Not too bad today, though. Found some more nice new yarn for my sock projects, slightly cheaper than some other place I've been buying from, so that's good.

I was in a relatively good mood when I came to work, although it's possible I'd gotten less sleep than I should've. (also my 5th shift in less than a week, so I was probably already on my last 5% of energy without realizing)

Mood started breaking down immediately after the report, when the other unit started bombarding me with phone calls about "can you do this and do that" for things someone else probably could've easily done in less time than it took me (due to distance - takes me a few extra minutes to walk over there, and back again). I think they called me about 4-5 times in 2 hours, usually while I was busy doing other things. Had a plan to get 3 people up before breakfast. Managed one. Things eventually got done (thanks to everyone on my unit being helpful - no thanks to the other unit ). Then at the end of the day I had a couple meetings, and at the end of the first one I got called up very unexpectedly, and got yelled at for a mistake that other unit had done earlier that day (something they should've known better, and should've checked the day before), so I had to go all the way back there, check the details - and get yelled at some more because nobody at that unit knew the answer to the questions and had of course not documented it anywhere (everything you DON'T need is written in full detail. When you need information, nobody has written anything anywhere. Go figure...)

And that's just the cliff's notes of how my day went. Yes, I was on the verge of several minor breakdowns throughout the day, and only the thought of a long stretch of not working kept me on my feet until the end of my shift, or I probably would've thrown in the towel halfway through. It's not by any means the toughest shift I've had, but it was just those constant little things that kept coming, and I just couldn't find time to do all the other things I was supposed to do. I hate those days...

Anyway, I'm on my last dregs of energy, but Ive got several days off now, so screw work, I'm gonna be (mostly) in my bed for at least a couple days, possibly more.

So, something I'm starting to realise the older I get is, if someone asks how you are, and anything other than "I'm fine, how are you?" is the wrong answer - they're not a good friend, and probably not that great of a person either.

I feel like saying "Oh my grief makes you uncomfortable? How do you think it makes me feel?"

Superficial people are quickly becoming my pet hate, honestly. Go deep or go home - I always bond with people over shared pain/bad experiences, but maybe that's just me.

The smoke alarm in my room needs a new battery, and has been bleeping for at least the past 2-3 days now, but it's screwed on too tight so we're going to need some help getting the thing down.

It's getting on my nerves - it's not just small bleeps like our old ones did, it's a short, very loud, very intense SCREEEECH!!!!! every half minute or so, enough to make me cringe every time, so I'm not too far away from a headache.

EDIT: New batteries = silence. FINALLY!

Today, on "Panda SNAFU"

Panda woke up early and cancelled an extremely expensive order, but has yet to receive her money back.

Papanda is upset with her sloppy manner of shopping.

Either way, being in the doghouse is something that Panda is no stranger to this week.

Today, on "Panda SNAFU"

Panda woke up at around noon after an early morning nap.

While opening a sparkling sangria bottle (the sangria has about 0.5% ABV), it spewed out like a fountain. Took a while to clean up the coffee station, the side of the fridge, the drawer, the cabinet on the coffee station and the Pyrex bowls. So much for thinking a Sangria Señorial and 7UP cocktail would be easy.

Laundry day had both her and Papanda arguing about laundry methods. He ended up igniting Panda's short fuse.

Otherwise, Panda had gone about business as usual. But for some reason, she can't find her tabletop tripod for her camera on her smartphone and it's driving her crazy.

Not this weekend, but the previous, with the daylight savings (apparently it happens at different weekends around the globe?). I had a weekend at work with an evening and day shift, and supposedly was going to get the "one hour more sleep" - but turned out most of us didn't sleep that extra hour, but instead went a bit stir-crazy, so several hadn't slept properly. At work the next day I spent a chunk of the day correcting wristwatches and calming the residents (the ones who still care, anyway) that yes, their watches were correct. In addition, some of the residents often tend to get a bit extra stir-crazy, and/or extra tired/awake (depending), which can last for up to several days (the checking time thing can also last for several days).

Having barely slept, I was so tired I just wanted to crawl into a bed and fall asleep...

Can we do away with the daylight savings already?

At least I have a memory-rule for how to turn the clock - toward the nearest summer in the current year. Can't ever remember when to apply it, but at least there's someone helpful on the news or a calendar that has it written down, or just about anything that makes you remember those stupid two times of the year... And at least phones figure things out on their own, so there's that...

---

This weekend my entire body is aching. I sat wondering why for a bit, but had an aha moment a minute later when I remembered I'd been hammering up a bookcase and lifting/moving around boxes, carrying heavy books around (3++ years worth of study books, plus half a library of other books). Putting up furniture is probably the closest I get to doing yoga, because i get into all sorts of strange positions...

Yes, please! I've heard from a friend (too tired to check myself) that my country (or the EU?) wanted to eradicate DST, but my country couldn't settle down to an agreement with a neighboring country (specifically, Croatia and Slovenia) - Croatia wanted the summer time (as most of its income is from tourism during the summer), while Slovenia wanted the winter time, because they have mountains and skiing I guess. Personally, I don't care if we shifted our 8 AM to dusk time - I just want it to be fixated, and frankly, don't care about the meridians matching up with other countries. There are a handful of cases where you'd have multiple countries over the same meridian having different time zones - for example, Portugal and Spain! And for some reason, having that same exact thing in eastern Europe is a no-go all of a sudden? Pffft...

Okay, you might have heard in a couple months I will be trading rooms with my mother because she wants my room because it's bright enough to work on arts and crafts. She also noted that I could do with a bigger room. (the room I'm trading in for is 50% more roomier).

But if you were to look in my room now...it's a fucking mess. Paper trash, clutter, things kicked under the bed, bookcases in disarray, tangled wires, stacks of various items...you get my point.

We're still negotiating the game plan of what goes where. A MALM dresser in the art supplies room is probably going to the garage is a start.

I haven't been sleeping well. My father thinks the fact he's back at work, I am not used to the silence.

I have been up all night and would crash after I take my pills in the morning.

I really hope Twitter isn't deleted from Google or Apple. It's my only connection right now to my voice acting mentors and coworkers.

Besides, I stay far away from the hateful side. Toxic environments do me no good. I rather be with my friends and coworkers.

I think that if you have the app on your phone and don't delete it manually, if the tech giants pull the app, it won't disappear from your phone. I remember when the owner of Floppy Bird pulled the app. There were bids on those phones that still had the original app installed on eBay around the phones' original sale values, if not higher.

One of my best friends is very sporty and going on holiday with 4 other people who are into the same sport.

It's a couple of months away and they are planning it now, it's booked and paid for though.

She's really stressed and upset because one girl has said the activity they're doing is easier in pairs (although it can just as easily be done in twos or threes), and keeps asking my friend if she can bring another person (it's kind of an extreme sport, so she doesn't know anyone else suitable). One of the blokes has stood up for my friend a bit, but the of other two people, one agrees with the mean girl and one is being a coward and saying nothing. So my friend feels left out and unwanted, and pushed out of the group.

I'm really angry that they're treating my friend like this!

I'm trying to support her emotionally but I don't know these people (I'm a bit of a mother hen with my friends, and get protective and defend them).

I hate it when she gets involved with mean people, it's happened before and I've told her that some of her other friends treat her badly.

I don't know why it keeps happening to her, because my friend is lovely and kindhearted.

My room is a fucking mess to the point I lost a key ring with 12 keys and no replacement key to open the locked cash boxes.

Should really clean up tomorrow.

Being disturbed when I'm in the middle of patient interactions, either by people calling (usually when I -sincerely- can't take the phone, because if I have gloves on, it's for a reason, m'kay?), or when people pop their heads into the BATHROOM every 3 minutes to ask something stupid, when someone is sitting there in the middle of a shower or something like that. Especially when it's the same bathroom, FOUR times in a row! Some privacy, PLEASE!

Some days it feels like I'm surrounded by badly coded NPC sims

So another really disappointing takeaway tea - decided to 'treat' myself, felt more like a punishment! lol!

I can live with the waste of money, I can live with the waste of time, but what really bothers me is the waste of calories!

And I could have thrown it away, but by the time it arrived, I really didn't want to have to cook, and wash up after.

Starting to wonder if it's the takeaway website I use, or if takeaways save the worst food for deliveries? Some are places I have been to in real life (even if a few years ago) and never had a problem with before.

Or maybe standards are slipping? Either way I'm sick of having to leave bad reviews because the food was nasty.

A takeaway should be an actual treat! Otherwise I might as well just have crisps for tea instead!

Me and my parents are sick with a cold!

Good thing I stocked up on drinks during my grocery shopping trip.

I also got simethicone gel capsules and guaifenesin tablets for my trapped gas and mucusy head.

Snow. Just... Snow.

First the bus was 15 minutes late (cold, had to wait for the $#@&% thing!)
And when they try to clean up the white mess they always leave a sheet of white, super-slippery almost-ice that can trick you into thinking it's almost safe to walk on.
Guess who slipped and fell? Yup. Good thing it wasn't plain ice, or I'd probably been hurt.
Then a meeting stretched on and on.
Waited for the 15 minutes late bus AGAIN! (COOOOOOOOLD!!!!)
On my way home got a message that a package had arrived, somewhere I've never picked it up before.
Got confused, got out at the wrong place, then remembered where it was (not anywhere close). Went shopping for a little bit while waiting for the next bus.
Waited for the late bus AGAIN! (Did I mention it is FRIGGIN cold outside? No?)
Tried to find those $#@&% mail box thingies, asked in the building that had popped up in the message.
Met a not-so-happy-person who didn't speak my language, so it was a mishmash of English and slight confusion.
Finally found the $#@&% mail boxes. OUTSIDE. (Did I mention it was MINUS DEGREES? Already dark? No?)
Had to download a $#@&% app and click through the usual do-this-do-that-nightmare to unlock the box. With fingers boardering on too stiff to click on anything, hurting like $#@&%, and probably going blue...
When I finally got the package out, that thing was giant, I've got a shopping bag and a phone, and below is probably 10-20 cm of snow. Not putting my bags down there. So I trudge over to the building and wrangle the huge package down into a too small bag, my phone into my backpack, and then start walking, cursing the snow all the way home, with fingers going colder and hurting more and more due to the bag being really awkward to handle, and close to frozen stiff.
Got home in one piece, but my room is freezing cold, so my fingers were warm for like 5 minutes, but now they're cold again.

I HATE SNOW AND ICE AND SLEET AND $#@&% WINTER!

(Snow is nice to look at when I can be indoors. But on days like this, I'd rather not)

EDIT: As if that's not bad enough, more of the $#@&% snow is piling on outside

Snow. Snow? Snow!?!?! And even more snow!

It's piling on outside. Last time I was outside, it was close to 30-ish cm where it's still untouched, and it snowed when I got to bed, so it's probably even more tomorrow. And it's still cold (but at least yesterday it wasn't the same "freeze your nose off" cold as the last time I complained).

The sidewalks are suffering from "eh, the roads are fine-ish" syndrome as per usual with more than a week of heavy snow, and the plow edges are soon taller than me now, most of it on said sidewalks, mostly the smaller ones they never care to plow properly

White christmas? Looks promising for those who like it. I just want the snow to go away (but preferably very fast and without a week of slush/ice)...

EDIT: Currently about 40 cm of snow
Looks like next week is getting warmer, though, so maybe not white christmas after all (not complaining), but lots of rain awawits, so looks like it's going to be slushy and possibly icy. If there's something worse than snow this time of year, it's ice and/or slush...

That cold we had? We all had COVID-19! Still, things were just fine because we were vaccinated and boosted twice.

Right now, my stomach is very much ripped up and I need to look into references for a gastroenterologist and I am familiar with them and if dad takes me for an appointment, well, the old Ultraman story of Ultraman safely detonating a bomb in a monster's stomach in outer space looks likely as the way to have some semblance of a distraction.

Not finding something when I was frantically looking for it, then finding the thing (where I thought I'd put it, in a place I swear I looked several times but apparently didn't search well enough ) when I don't need it any more. I mean... why? How?