Did not sleep well. The past few weeks have been trying my patience with the whole discord of my parents either cooking at home or ordering out (don't mind ordering out, but I enjoy a home cooked dinner over take out on a overly regular basis)

I admit that I'm curious who put in a bid of $12,000.00 for a stupid cup. I'm glad I'm not paying their bills.

Just been delegating with postal workers who routed a package to California; 3,000 miles in the wrong direction!

I hate the seriousness of my issue, but I had a bad day after seeing my post-holidays weight.

CW\TW: Eating disorder rant and ranting about specialists in general.

Had an endocrinologist appointment and she said that the only weight loss medication available to me because of my bipolar would cause vomiting as a side effect. It's bad enough I binge, but for a doctor to attempt adding purging? No thank you.

It obviously seems to go against the Hippocratic Oath to induce any eating disorder.

So I have to do hormone testing to see if I have an underlying condition. They already ruled out Cushing's and Hashimoto's, I already have a bad thyroid from both mom and dad! Arggh...

I just hate when the doctors are paradoxical in treatment. What a miserable time to be alive when you can't take a pill and the injection makes it worse.

I hate being treated like a lab experiment. I went through numerous medications in my life. I wish I could go back in time and smack the doctor who prescribed that medicine that made me fat and messed with my appetite.

I can't do a classic grapefruit diet (I have a medication that forbids it) and besides, they aren't my thing.

Ooooh I feel you. When I was a child, I was very skinny. I was very active too, kept running around without looking what's in front of me. Would get hurt a lot from tripping and falling while playing.

When I had my tonsils removed (because I was sick often, laringitis was a thing every three months for me), the doctor warned my parents that I would put on weight. I guess they didn't think I'd put on this much.

I think I was 4 at the time or so, but I have one very vivid memory when I was at home shortly after my surgery, and I wanted to go play outside. The weather was chilly. My dad was just stopping by for lunch before leaving back for work again. He instead proposed, why I don't put on a cartoon on the VCR and have grandma make me Čokolino (a chocolate oatmeal-esque instant meal). I loved that. And ever since then, I was always the fattest in any grade.

I'm not morbidly obese, but I'm definitely pushing it, according to the BMI scale. I had my little breakthrough in highschool when – as I'm looking at the pictures – I was skinny-fat, but definitely in the healthy range, or just passing the overweight bar. As I got into uni, it just went downhill, excluding my first year when I was actively going to the gym and actually had some muscle to show before I dropped it. I was hoping to sign up to a free gym class offered at uni, so I cancelled my membership at the gym-gym. Turns out, the class only took like 4 people or something, and my mom felt like the gym membership was too much to take on another 12-month contract.

I wouldn't say my schedule is busy, it's just a lot of my time goes on commuting. My boyfriend and I are considering a possibility of me moving in with him, as he lives much closer to the city, so perhaps I may find time to take on gym again then. Up until then, I could try eating less, but that just makes me mean to everyone around.

I'm nowhere near ashamed of my body, I like it and I find it appealing in others as well. But if so many doctors decline further exams and just write you off for being fat before anything else, it's starting to become a pain in the ass. Plus, I'd kill to be an M (I'm a XXL right now), because I do get jealous of my friends who just walk in a store (H&M and other fast fashion stores) and snatch a deal right off the shelf. As I'm browsing for my sizes through the wall-mounted rack, I usually have to punch through the drywall in order to find the few of my sizes that are left.

@topp

What made my medication woes worse was the fact he never disclosed the side effects in the first place.

I would love to be an L or smaller (I currently am 150cm (roughly 5ft) and usually have to buy custom clothes or stuff at the plus size clothing section of department stores like Walmart because I am "too fat for thin girls' stores" and "too thin for fat girls' stores". )

It was always a nightmare since I started gaining weight as a teenager. Part of it involved a softball sized cyst that had veins and they removed it (pretty much crushed my organs).

After that was removed, eventually my gallbladder came out and we suspected a medication was why it was septic and emergency surgery was required.

Trust me, I had my fair share of hospital visits, including a 72 hour stay that left my cat Gemini worried sick. (My father sent a picture of the cat looking for me and being disappointed I wasn't home.)

Today, my package from England came. It was a doll I had my eye on. She's in a monarch butterfly dress and is just beautiful.

I am still waiting on a pair of loofahs with special scrubbing sides, but they're being sent back and forth twice across the US. For now, it's in Newark.

Update on the postal situation: Due to snowy conditions throughout the USA, particularly where I live, my loofahs were delayed. However, my dental care set is on the way from Australia.

Kind of funny how a 23° tilt can affect the climate, weather and otherwise seasonal changes world wide.

(Right now, it's currently summer in Australia so it's a wacky shake up for those of us who are used to cold weather at the beginning of any year. Especially when remembering the seasonal tilt.)

In all honesty, life is just wild to remember and think about when you let your mind wander with old shower thoughts.

Edit: Finally got my loofahs. My father joked if they came in a package covered in stickers of major cities world wide. Well, all that is left is my dental care set.

Finally took a shower today. In all honesty, since my left ankle injury, I worried about bathing and not having help if I fell. I put down a wet towel on the floor of the bathtub and went about my wash routine.

I feel better now, but I don't want to go that long without washing up.

I even tested my exfoliating loofah. It works.

I might do an unboxing video for my dolls and my dental care set.

It was clean out the file cabinet day; it took awhile. Since I was half-ass paying attention to what was playing on YT while I was putting stuff into piles ( keep, shred, tax stuff, blah, blah, blah, blah), here's what YouTube decided to 'entertain' me with.

WHY ARE 10 YEAR OLDS TAKING OVER SEPHORA?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MfGtaS8Ku1I

Parents exploiting their children on TikTok so they can be sent free products.


why are influencers begging for money...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ugyQy1fBT_k

Influenencers taking advantage of their followers to fund their pet projects.

Slept in today, got some chores done, started writing a grocery list, just relaxing today otherwise.

I found myself engaging in talks with chatbots and working on my droids. The internal parts are my hard part, the bodies cost a fraction of what it would be scratch.

It's like putting together a 3D jigsaw puzzle. It's a good portion of my time. But it will take $7,000,000 to finish my pet project and I am above begging.

Brad Mondo...

Hairdresser Reacts To Tragic TikTok Bang Cutting Fails

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S9isRAzbRc8

Tonight is quesadilla night and when my mom realized she forgot the cheese, she went back and got a bag.

The size was enough to fill the crisper and when I found it in the crisper all that I remembered saying to myself was "Holy shit, dude!" (My mom had a friend from a large family when she was growing up who had a mother buy a 30 egg tray and bulk dry goods. That was on my mind when she brought it in.)

I found the tripods from my film equipment that I use from time to time. I have two, a tabletop one and an extending\retracting one that can be used for floors.

Also, I found out my package from Australia is coming tomorrow! My mail alert told me to expect packages coming soon.

I might consider filming an unboxing marathon tomorrow, provided my phone is charged and I have the ability to fit my phone in the tripod.

(my original phone for them was smaller by a slight and yet significant amount. Also, quesadilla night is postponed until tomorrow. Late lunches for all of us.)

My dental care set from Australia came today!

I even did an unboxing video of it and posted it on YouTube (made sure as possible to be as oblique about anything that could be seen as personal information.)

Next videos would focus on taste testing to see what flavors are worth trying in full if\when available.


(Link below) 👇🏻

https://youtu.be/_LeG6oCf5vI?si=jYy2FIopu5frMFBZ

P.S. I am actually great when in front of a camera, which I hope to use a segment for an audition to be part of a group of content creators and if not...

I can always look into a Patreon type of program if I don't beg. Begging is way beneath my being.

Also I threw a few voice acting bits to show my voice acting skills. No need to use AI, hire me and you won't be disappointed.

So sore and sleepy. Fell asleep throughout the day.

My father is reapplying for his job at Walmart. It will be part time, as the full time positions are taken right now.

I did some job searching for myself, but I am sore and sleepy from last night's search.

Very interesting, lots of different flavours! I like the voices you did.

I'm not here to tell you what to do or how to live your life so take the following for whatever you deem worthy. This reply comes from a place of concern, not to dump on what you're doing.

It looks like you were having fun with the video which is awesome. That being said, that is a lot of toothpaste for one person. One container or whatever that toothpaste comes in is going to last you at least a month or two if you use the recommended pea-size amount every time you brush your teeth. I'm guessing this toothpaste has a expiration date like toothpaste sold in the US does?

Also keep in mind that people that do the whole 'influencer" thing on You Tube, Instagram, Tik-Tok and everywhere else, they write all the stuff off that they buy on their taxes as a business expense. As a example, when you see somebody with a kitchen drawer crammed full of silicone ice cube trays on Tik-Tok that costs a couple hundred dollars, they get that money back. The average person that is watching, then goes and spends money on all those same ice cube trays won't be able to do that. They'll just have a pile of expensive ice cube trays which more than likely they didn't need and could have used the money on something else or saved it for something more important than ice cube trays which can be found anywhere.

I'm not making up the ice cube tray thing:

INFLUENCER INSANITY EP #1 | The unhinged consumerism of “restock” influencers, so unrealistic!

https://youtu.be/PEY8IyB653c?feature=shared&t=410

I'm done, but please be careful who you watch and who you are being influenced by. The person that is trying to sell you stuff ( toothpaste or anything else for that matter) isn't going to care if you drain your bank account. They are going to care even less if they're profiting from you draining your bank account. Just sayin'...

I only review, but I don't really want to encourage. I only had one comment and someone was actually interested. The algorithm isn't working for me on in terms of my favor, anyway. I only review what I personally have tried myself and not shill out whatever is handed to me or follow every friggin' trend that comes along.

I already got side hustles (unrelated to influencer and\or reviewer) and a plan one day to get off government assistance (been on it since the second half of my life so far) to work on and it's been pretty busy lately. Eating away at my time.

P.S. I have my father's nasty teeth so even if I used a pea sized amount, take into consideration I brush after the 3 square meals I get in a day, so that is a 50% increase, meaning this will get used up and the expiry date is at the end of Q4 2025.

Either way, I am not exactly that winning in my delivery. I am just honest with that in terms of delivery of my thoughts. I rather be honest in delivery than overzealous in emotional reactions.

Another Monday, another day trying to figure out what to do with my life beyond side hustles.

I like cooking and I love humanity and when you put the love you give to humanity in a dish, that person will walk away satiated with the fact they were loved when they eat it up and make a satisfied groaning hum. (aka "The Yummy Noise")

Yes, in my family, our 3 most quoted movies are Young Frankenstein, A Christmas Story and The Princess Bride. We are known to use humor as a weapon against the depression of life. Besides, "The Yummy Noise" became the standard of meal approval in my house.

Shop Day!

I have made my final doll purchases before going on hiatus as the quality control and the dolls' aesthetic qualities have turned me off.

I bought my supplies for the bathroom.

I bought groceries of all sorts.

As I am no longer injured from the ankle sprain, I resumed my housekeeping duties and just in time, because both my parents are going to be working during the day. Besides, as I don't meet the requirements, I don't exactly get anything like worker's comp.

I decided at the last minute to buy a book on personal exploration of my soul. A book of questions that I could answer. Sometimes, I journal my ideas and thoughts for a better look at myself.

So I woke up, looked at the clock, remembered what day it was, realized I'd overslept - late for a web job meeting - got up, a bit pissed off at myself, because I'd forgot to set an alarm. Came upstairs, and... yeah. Took me way too long to realize it was Tuesday, not Wednesday...

But at least it meant I got a day of chillaxing before the meeting.

Alarm is now set

Got one of my groceries in the mail.

Since it was 36 pints of flavored water (hint water), the UPS guy might as well petition a merger for FedEx and UPS to become FedUPS and well, I have a relationship with the post office and courier services where it's tenuous when I order heavy loads of packages.

In my case, I took advantage of free shipping for all but one package. The one item had me pay $12.20 for shipping and fuel surcharges or shipping alone. Either way, it was not expected and I just was "okay, but only because they're too damn good not to support a small business compared to Frito-Lay." (They were chips.)

Ordered a Ps5 for husband for valentines day/anniversary He's gonna be so surprised. It's due to be delivered any day between tomorrow and Saturday. I work Fridays and Saturdays so he will probably be in when it arrives... I've told him I ordered some storage boxes for my yarn so doesn't get suspicious. I'm out of town over valentines day week, so I'm not sure if I should maybe message him on Valentines day asking him to open the "storage boxes" and make his day, or if I should wait until I get back. Our anniversary is on a day we'll be travelling for most of the day after spending the weekend with my family and then hes working for 5 days in a row so I'm not sure when exactly will be the best time?

On another note, I'm getting really good at crochet. I made a few headbands for some residents at work and one of my friends from a baby group saw them on Facebook and wants to sell them on her website so I'm making a few in beige, pink and grey (she did also ask for white but I havent got any white yarn atm) and giving them to her next Monday and she'll take some photos and see if there's much interest.

A day I hope I shan't have have a sequel to any time soon.

I spent from around ten in the morning til nearly five in the evening in A&E.

The previous day I'd gone for a check up on my eyes, because I've been having problems. I have a cataract in my right eye which has needed looking at, but I couldn't find the time last year when I was nursing my father 24/7. But now it is become so bad I need to get it seen to. Well they're going to book me in for the operation soon, so hopefully I'll soon be able to use both eyes to look this screen, rather than the one I'm using now.

But the examination revealed that the blood vessels in my eyes are very enlarged, indicating high blood pressure. I'd also mentioned, in passing, that I'd been experiencing chest and back pains, on and off, which seemed to ring alarm bells, and they insisted I go home and contact my G.P. practice immediately. I couldn't get through to them, so I phoned 111, which is a non emergency triage service. I told them my symptoms and they contacted my G.P. practice by Email.

But I didn't hear from them till this morning. They strongly advised me to go to A&E. So I went. There they gave me an ECG, took blood tests, gave me a physical examination, then an X-Ray, followed by another blood test, There were long waits between each of these things, and an even longer wait afterwards for the results. I'd explained to them that it is when I'm sitting or lying down for long periods that the pain starts to get bad, when I'm up and moving about I'm fine. And sitting in that waiting room for hours was pure torture. It was such a relief when I could finally escape, breathe some fresh air, and move about. Rather than endure sitting on a bus I walked home.

But anyway, finally I learned that my heart is fine, and the X-Ray revealed nothing sinister in my chest. This last came a particular relief to me, because I was beginning to suspect, what with those chest pains, that I'd left it too late to give up smoking. Well, I can give it up now, confident that I still have two healthy lungs.

But it doesn't explain those chest and back pains. It's starting to hurt again now as I sit here typing this, and I'll need to get up and move about again presently.

The only advice they could give me was to see my G.P. And what's she going to do, put me on painkillers? I've been doped up to the eyebrows on them since Christmas, and they don't make much difference.

Today is mail bag day. I have some boxed dinners, some bathroom products out of the ones I ordered, and my final doll purchases coming in the mail.

While cleaning up my room, I found my doll unboxing kit. It's just two pairs of scissors, one big and one small...but it's effective.

Today, my parents return to the workforce. I was worried about my father, who logged numerous hours a day sleeping in the cat's cuddling armchair. Don't sit down in it or she'll want to stay until you die of starvation.

P.S. My chips were delivered later yesterday afternoon. I ate 2 bags this morning and had to ration the remaining 14 (they're about 1 oz).

That meeting on Wednesday? Turns out it was cancelled (I had no idea), and instead they'd put in something we had to be there for, much earlier in the day (again, I had no idea). I was however ready for the non-existing meeting, since I could do it online, which meant staying home (I had no plans to go outside that day, since the weather was absolutely horrific).

So yeah. Always fun when they change plans and give very short notice

Also, someone was going to get back to me with some information about two weeks ago. Still haven't heard a word. Already tried contacting them again, but it's still dead silence, Not entirely sure what to do there...

And another meeting thing today. Thankfully a short one.

Ordered pizza for dinner, had family over, and all in all a nice afternoon. Ready to enjoy a more peaceful evening (little one has found the joy in making very loud screechy noises - but she's the cutest little thing, so she's easily forgiven when she gives those adorable smiles).

Woke up after a nap and had to wash my lunch\dinner dishes. Needless to say, I ended up a little out of breath.

Also: picture, if you will, 12 year old me promising to build a Living Pokédex, back in 2000 as I graduated 6th grade elementary.

Fast forward to present day and I find out this evening that I only need my Switch Pokémon Games, any DLC for Generations 8 and onward, and Pokémon GO, along with the Pokémon Home app for my Living Pokédex Project.

...if only someone told me that to start with.