Had 3 appointments and I'm pretty sure I am tired out!

Currently working on some things to do this week.

Still working on my phone project.


Also working towards getting things on a wish list

I've had some productive night shifts lately. I managed to finish 5 (or 6, starting to lose count) xmas themed hobby sets with small decorations - a bunch of little santa elves (I think those were 3 sets), a couple "felt-acorn" angels, several really cute birds, plus plaited felt hearts. Did some of it at home, but most of the sewing at night (trying to concentrate on stitches and beads is a hundred times more effective for focus and trying to stay awake than reading is).

This week has been 'educational'. I use the word education as loosely as possible.

We had yet another adventure with CVS the other night. It should have been simple. Go in, pick up meds, pay for said meds and leave. 5 minutes, in and out. Instead, the little pumpkins decided to go with the usual crackhead BS.

First they said our phone number was bad and didn't work. That was a lie. They called the house and I spoke with them 48 hours prior. Then they told Dingus that they were going to use the credit card they had on file to pay for the meds we needed. This lead to a series of questions starting with what credit card, who said they could attach a credit card to our account, ect... The a-hole pharmacy tech tried to run the mystery credit card through anyway which according to him, failed. Once they exhausted all of their nonsense, Dingus paid and left.

Dingus came home beside himself. He told me what happened, so I called the store and spoke with the store manager. Nothing became of that, so I called corporate, again. I asked who attached a card to my account without permission which lead to the person on the other end looking my account up. There is no credit card attached to my account or Dingus' account. Now whether there was a card put there and somebody removed it, I don't know. I should put a bug in my bank's ear about that.

Both Dingus and I have had enough of crackhead behavior from the pumpkins at our local CVS, so the reasonable thing to be would be to get meds somewhere else, so I called our insurance company.

We can go anywhere to get meds, but there is a catch. If we stay with CVS, we can get 90 days of maintenance meds for one co-pay. If we go elsewhere, they will only give us 30 days at a time which means we have to pay a co-pay x 3 for 90 days. This is gross!

In laymens terms what the insurance company is saying is; if we don't go through CVS, they have a built-in penalty. Instead of paying a co-pay a couple times a year, we'd have to pay one monthly. Health insurance companies and pharmacies should never be that cozy.

This has been just as much fun as dealing with Barnes and Noble last week. Turned out they sold me a E-reader that didn't work the way they sold it to me. It was returned, I got a refund which they gave me with no problem, then I bought a tablet instead. I like that way more and it actually works, but still. All they had to do was be honest with me to begin with. Instead I had to find out the hard way. Not only did it not work, but it wasn't designed to work the way they told me it would.

I'm not into new year resolutions. If I want to do something, I'm just going to do it regardless of a date in a calendar, but for 2025, it's going to be avoid stores as much as possible. That sounds way more dramatic than what it really is, but I'm done. I should be able to walk into a store, purchase something without frickin' drama. It's not that deep or complicated.

^ I am so glad there's no messing around with insurance companies over meds where I live, but issues with the pharmacy still occurs. Sometimes they try to give me the wrong kind of pill type (depending on how the prescription was written, I think - one would think it was permanently fixed after 4 years, and after notifying doctors and the pharmacy multiple times, but oh well), but I usually don't have any issues getting them switched while I'm there (I recognize the box size, and even know if they're pulling it from the wrong drawer by now). I use the same pharmacy every time, because the regulars pretty much know me by sight. There's also an off-label issue with the meds, which this pharmacy knows and has papers on, but going through it with another pharmacy is just going to be time-consuming and annoying - it was the first few times with my regular one - and not doing that again (I tried a couple times while travelling, took too long, gave up).

Anyway, been doing a xmas grocery haul. Exhausted. Just want to relax the next few days (but can't, 'cause schedule is full the next few days. Got several days off after that, though).

Lately, we are winding down to the Christmachanukwanzakah celebration most advertising agents would use as a grab for selling cheap cell phones back in the day...well, The 12 Days of Christmas, the 8 Nights of Chanukah and the 7 Nights of Kwanzaa are happening this year during the roughly same time period.

(Yeah, I am going to agree that the holiday season has gotten so commercialized in the past 25 years, they even took a reach at Agnosticism.)

The final week is here before the festivities and special events with family.

For now, my mother and I are working on the house. As for the festivities, Christmas Eve will involve a charcuterie board, a crudite tray and fruit bowls.

I still have to remember which gift bag I put my parents’ gifts in.

We're going to try a different CVS and see what happens. Sometimes going to a different location makes a difference. i.e- We have two Target stores nearby. One always looks like a bomb went off, the other which we never went to until recently is clean and maintained. We do have the option to get meds via mail order, but since CVS has already tried to foist somebody else's meds on me, I don't trust them to get mail orders right.

Our other options for meds are not great. There is Walgreens, but they are closing a whole bunch of stores across the US. For whatever reason, they refuse to post a list of stores that are closing. I won't know until sometime in 2025 if the few Walgreens we have around are going to remain open or not. Then there is Walmart. Walmart and I do not get along. They treat people like crap and feel as though it is their right to do so.

All of the local mom and pop owned pharmacies disappeared a long time ago, unfortunately. They've all been taken over by the monopoly that is CVS and hot mess that is Walmart.

Enjoy your time off.

Man, I am like jonesing for bar food.
Like mozzarella sticks and soft pretzels.

My mother was like that when she was younger.

As far as last night, I didn't really eat much, but I join my parents for dessert. I guess I wanted to spend time with them before heading off to bed.

Okay...a lot has happened. Long story short I make things way more complicated for myself than need be like turning down help because I have trust issues and paranoia only to get tired of the cold and then finally accepting help from the wrong person.

I know for a fact that Someone...oh Several are watching me as it's clear this is some kind of trial and tribulation. A test.

So some man's like hey you can stay at my place with no strings attached. (Lies) I can help you get back on your feet.

Pros:
-I was fed
-I got to shower
-I got to sleep in a warm, comfortable enough bed
-I got out of the cold (For a little bit)
-I got my clothes washed

Cons:
-I cleaned practically the whole studio apartment only to be called selfish time and time again when I didn't want to become a slave and always washing his dishes and cleaning up after him. Um I came from that in my messed up home life and them calling me lazy because I don't want to clean after their intentional messes and do things that they can do themselves. I don't play with that psychological warfare, gaslighting bull. I know my reality and my truth and my self worth.
-Making unwanted advances towards me when told numerous times that I don't want him or anyone for that matter so STOP! I'm not interested in relationships, especially not right now.
-Funny how he was talking about demons and djinn and don't be bringing that in his place but he was demonic taking advantage of a homeless female
-He was manipulative, controlling and telling me I'm not leaving and he's going to marry me and all this other uncomfortable stuff that makes me want to emesis. Nope, I don't play that nonsense and would have left as soon as possible except my boots got wet in rain and I needed them dry

See this is why people like me who are empathic attract these kinds of monsters because to them we are easy targets to their narcissistic ways. However, it's all a lesson to learn and grow to see people for who they really are and then STAY AWAY! So you don't get caught up in their bull. And also to learn your own self worth and not allow anyone to step all over you. Stand up for yourself!

So I left and never looked back and then scolded myself but then forgave myself and not to be so harsh. I'm always learning and growing and the mistakes I make I will learn from them.

Then after that, I spent another night outside and decided you know what...I have frostbite and I'm tired and I'm cold and I'm hungry and I lost a lot of weight and maybe I'm dying because I expend so much energy and eat so little that I'm constantly in the negative of where I should be for any calories/carbohyrdrates/nutrition/etc.

Then I randomly go to a place thinking they give out free food to the homeless and had no idea it was a whole shelter. I wasn't supposed to walk in but somehow walked in and then was told I cannot be there unless a resident and then another member just literally signed me up and boom now I'm staying at that shelter. I got my frostbite looked at and thankfully I was frostbitten but there appears to be no permanent damage. Though my feet hurt, are swollen on and off and well yeah...other frostbitten signs.

Sleeping at this shelter is such a huge upgrade from sleeping on a park bench or train station shelter bench or bus shelter bench.

It's like wow...how did my life get like this? I'm minding my own business and then here comes chaos, destruction and disorder. I didn't invite that into my life but someone, several made that come my way. But you know what? If I'm going through this, then it means I can handle it. As long as I have Someone with me and I always will because we are inseparable, I'll always be fine. I know, it's always been about good vs evil, it's black and white, a whole spiritual warfare.

The battle over my blood pressure is finally over after 2 ( possibly 3) years. It was a lame win, but I'll take it.

I went to the doctors. I had Dingus come with me. As I've mentioned previously, he uses the same BP machine I do. I also made a copy of his latest BP numbers as he takes his blood pressure daily. Their cuff and our cuff spat out the same numbers. The nurse made it a point to mention that our machine is the most accurate she's ever seen.

There is now a note on my record stating that I have white coat syndrome and if something does change, I'll let them know. This 'issue' could have been resolved a long time ago, but no. There had to be endless threats of meds before doing what happened today which was bring my machine in and compare numbers.

Other than that, it has been a quiet day.

I maybe going to retire from The Sims franchise once I'm making my FINAL custom content for this franchise.

It's been fun for atleast 10 years but I think I've moved on from it.

Today was a snowy morning. And we're going to get more and more...

It's magical to the inner child, until the adulting part realizes that it means digging the car out of the snow and ice.

The snow is perfect for snow sculptures and all I could think back to was the winter "Calvin and Hobbes" strips where Calvin makes sculptures worthy of East Asia's snow sculpture contests you would see in photos. Like in the mountains of China and Japan's Hokkaido prefecture...or even, going past the divide, the snow hotels of Europe. There's potential for people today.

As for me, I have dishes to do. I have to pay my parents an $18 fee for groceries. The free rides were done a long time ago. The Bank of Mom and Pop have ended\limited certain services.

Things you didn't know you wanted until you got a email.

I used to have a GoodReads account. I deleted it recently because Amazon and drama. The drama in book land is just as bad as TS4 drama. Anywho, I signed with StoryGraph instead. If there is drama on there, I haven't seen it. I log in, do whatever then leave.

Yesterday they [ StoryGraph admin] sent out a email talking about how they've included a pause button. How cool is that? Life gets in the way or a reading slump happens, you can just put the book on pause and get back to it when things settle.

It's the simple things like a 'pausing a book' and being able to use half stars for book ratings.

https://app.thestorygraph.com/

Futzed about with AI generated avatars and even made an informational video for caregivers and family of autistic people and how to provide care during the holiday season.

It was actually very cathartic to put my passion of education to good use.

AI is in my case a last minute thing in video. AI for me is just a passing fancy in media related issues. Not seriously invested in such matters.

It was to the point I made a video message that made it sound like (a very posh British-sounding) Santa was leaving me a video message a la the message in a bottle saying "You've been so good this year." From the very first SpongeBob SquarePants Christmas Special. Yep, I'm insane.

Edit: Somehow, I woke up at 11:30PM and it said I had a package coming that night. I got the logic police in my mind going "It's the middle of the night! Who delivers packages that late?!"

Got some packages in the mail. Received...

*3 tubes of toothpaste in apple, gingerbread and chocolate peppermint flavors.
*A jar of teeth whitening powder.
*A (rather small) bottle of soy glaze
*An onigiri (rice ball) mold that makes 6 rices balls at once. (The trick is to season and make the onigiri while the rice is still hot from the pot.)

Tomorrow is Christmas Eve and since the deliveries are done until some point after Christmas, I will cut the delivery drivers some slack anyway.

Made my first batch of onigiri rice balls 🍙.

Just rice to get a feel for the press, no fillings, no mix-ins or nori wraps.

It was a success, albeit a mess. But meals made with labors of love, especially self-care for one's soul, is nourishment all over.

To my Christmas celebraters: Did you get anything interesting?

I got two $50 checks, but my grandfather forgot to sign his name on the line where applicable, so I could only cash one.

I bought two remaining animal rice ball molds I had my eye on: dolphin and seal. Would go well with the penguin.

I got a stack of books, a new PJ, a bit of money and a gift card, candy, a few random-ish kitchenware items, a christmas concert ticket (already used earlier this month), plus some other various stuff.

Cool. I also got some small candies, a PEZ dispenser, and a 2025 wall calendar.

Oddly, I started to load the first four months (January - April) and I remember a planetary alignment where all the other planets (Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, and Neptune) are due January 21st.

Along with my doctor appointments as confirmation for the dates, I sometimes put release dates for stuff otherwise pre-ordered.

I try not to buy things on release day, like for example, if it's a game that can easily be patched up or a popular show\movie that is either anime (dubbing\subbing errors along technical difficulties...I usually buy it uncut and don't mind either one, but if timing is everything, I would waiting for any errors to be fixed), comedy (I was lately dealing with anxiety on Christmas, I decided to distract myself.) or a Disney film (currently rebuilding my collection after an economic issue made me give up most of them.)

^ Me, too. Preordering or buying on resease day means the item is a lot more expensive. If you're willing to wait it out a bit, the price often drops significantly. I make exceptions for things stores don't seem to restock and I really want (as long as it's not too expensive - these days they tend to run sales almost before the season has begun, so occasionally it's possible to make a bargain or two). If it's possible/easy to order online, I wait it out, as they usuallly have the items in stock for a while.

Had the older kids over for dinner. Really cozy, and kind of a bit calmer than having the adults + toddler over, too (even if the kids were picking a bit on each other). Everyone were together at Christmas Eve (full house and then some, with extra guests and a dog), so it was nice with a slightly calmer dinner.

I spent today washing dishes and on laundry detail.

I eventually fell asleep for about 3 hours and now it's dark out.

My father was able to replace my stovetop cookware set as it was breaking down (I got it as a hand-me-down after my mother got a bonus for her hard work during the pre-COVID era and she got a new set.)

I will pay him back with my grandparents' check.

I actually find solace when I cook for myself on the range. Sometimes, cooking for yourself when you live in a family situation where you spend time with your family, during the lonely hours, a nice meal for yourself helps sometimes.

Self-care\self-love for me is a delicious meal.

Got paid early, so I did some shopping.

Bought:

*2 giant belts to secure my mattress and box spring together so my shikibuton cover lays down even.
*A 1 TB microSD card.
*Parchment paper liners for my family's air fryer.
*A digital media player.
*A microSD card case that can hold up to 54 microSD cards.
*A portable Blu-Ray Player (been meaning to get it for a while now.)
*Toothpaste as part of an ongoing research for waterless\limited water technology in hygiene.

I also ordered frozen foods (my mom calls them "frozens" as a nod to Phineas and Ferb, her favorite Dan Povenmire production) and it should be here between 1:00PM-4:00PM.

The belts are because I thrash hard enough in my sleep to dishevel the bed, I am buying the parchment paper because I use the air fryer the most, the electronics are because I have a big project and the toothpaste is just another piece of the project (multibranched one).

Long story short about the toothpaste: don't question the process, you might not want me to explain any specifics afterwards. It's mostly to study ingredients and their effects.

The last 2 months have been a never ending sprint. Not a marathon because the amount of speed needed to survive definitely makes it worse. The realquestion is why do they make November and December so busy? There's a whole year of days where things could be happening so like not everything has to happen now. Anyway, I've never been so glad for the xmas hols in my life (5 more free days left rip) and then its back to corporate hell

The temporary team lead that I don't like? Replaced
New temporary team lead that is an expert? Can actually manage people and work properly
Do I still desperately want a new job but can't yet afford to? Always

In the mean time I've met up with a bunch of friends cos they too have terrible jobs and the long weekends and its been amazing. Spontaneous long weekends are the main reason why I've not had a melt down of some kind (I should really look into some kind of physical activity that isn't just walking or cycling places cos it might actually give me 2% more patience) even if the consequences mean having to work later to make up for it.

My music collection has once again expanded, so that's always good news because shuffle is life

Caught up with a load of books (sleep is for the weak) and like gotta loose myself to some kind of mysterious adventure without leaving my house cos how else am I supposed to detatch from reality after a horrible day? I think I made really good random book choices (well within the genres I'll read) so I've stuck those on my goodreads. I alos sorted through my goodreads I had way too many things on my to read list and clearly I wasn't very critical with things. Now the list is much smaller (still like 300 books though) and the books have more promise.

Since there's been a couple of days off I've finally managed get round to booting up TS3. It's been really nice to just aimlessly do whatever I want- play, make, destroy, test out cc I'd collected thoughout the year and all. Not gonna try TS2 though sadly since there's a bunch of things to fix first because its not set up the way I like it (I swear the names of the townies are not the OG names the game was shipped with)

A couple of weeks ago I made a list of things I wanted to get done so the week between Christmas and New Year's could be a week of not doing anything except for things I have to do. I did most of what I had on the list. The few that I didn't get done are not important, but things I want to do at some point. i.e- Get a microSD card for the tablet. Get a rug for under Jingles crate... that kind of stuff. There was / is no point in dealing with the all the stupid that comes with going into a store from the middle of October until the middle of January over a rug or SD card.

What I didn't expect was to have yet another conversation about Chica's pheno. I was told I could order it like I do her Zonisamide. Come to find out, that's not true.

My vet called wanting to know why I wanted to order the pheno rather than just go the office to pick it up. My reason was so that I wouldn't forget to call when she got too low. The last time I got her pheno refilled, I got a earful because I didn't call soon enough. On the other hand, if I call too soon, that doesn't go over well either. I'm tired of this cloud of "Damned if I do, damned if I don't" hanging over my head. The other part of the issue is that if Chica has a break through seizure, she has to be given a pheno to stop her from having cluster seizures. If her meds get too low, I start to panic because emergency trips to the nearest vet because of seizures are not fun.

In the end, the reason for all of this has nothing to do with me personally. It all circles back to how certain kinds of people cannot behave with some kinds of meds, so everybody is painted with the same brush even though not everybody is doing stuff they shouldn't be. I already knew this because of the shit show that happened with CVS over Chica's pheno, but the same problems also happen on the veterinary side of things although I didn't know to what extent until my vet and I had this conversation.

Yet another plan has been put in place. Most of it revolving around my concerns about not being able to stop a seizure should one happen. Chica has been doing well. She hasn't had a seizure of a couple of months, so we're good on that front. It is getting past this other stuff that is the sticking point. I won't know if this new plan will go as smoothly as I was told or not until we do it.

I think I'm going to toss the suggestion of putting Chica on a "auto-refill schedule" through my vet and see if that sticks. We're being monitored anyway to make sure there is no weird stuff going on. If I'm going to be watched for any odd things, they should be able to have her meds ordered and ready when the appropriate time arrives, in theory anyway. Drug shortages continue to be a thing 4 years into Covid. Vets office has gotten better about giving me a heads up when shortages happen. Regardless, a 'auto-refill' would get rid of the problem of I don't call soon enough / call too soon.

We've been working on this getting doggo seizures under control for a year next month and it is still a problem; just in other ways. I'm finding all the landmines surrounding this issue the hard way. While it is not possible to spell out every possible scenario ahead of time as all animals are different, it would have been nice to be told all the issues surrounding pheno when she was first put on it. This is definitely a case of knowing the right questions to ask as otherwise, things are not talked about.

I got quite a few gifts from my relatives as consolation for my anxiety.

I got $145 in spending money and stocked up on some things for my collections and computer. I also got a special coloring page book and a Lego like project I could work on if I felt like I could hone my precision.

I did well during this Christmachanukwanzakah (as weird as this coincidence seems, it is why I spend time with mom and aunts on either side. I don't see family often, especially with my anxiety getting in the way. I usually impart to them my wisdom, but this year was particularly interesting as I wrote a letter and even got rave reviews over it. It was my gift to my family.)