Mack Bern from the local TV-26 station was relaxing briefly before coming in for work, when he found a startling article in the newspaper and wondered why the station hadn't covered anything on it!

Mack: "Whoa...what's this???"

The front page of the local paper was riddled by a shot of a lady thug being taken out by what appeared to be a woman in an orange centipede costume!

The pages inside discussed at length the final elimination of the Kerpher Gang, the truck-top battle between this spotted centipede and Musaran, and more!

Mack: "That does it! Henson's gotta know about this!"



Mack arrived as soon as he could, but the studio was already buzzing. What could be done about this breakthrough? How could they improve ratings? Even the mellow Harold Harvey Henson, the TV station's owner, was nervous.



Henson: "Patsy! So nice of you to stop in for work today! May I ask why you're not looking well?"

Patsy: "Hmm...let's just say that it has a lot to do with Terry, beer, and that party at your place!"

Henson: "Well, I've always been one to like the idea of new families, but it sounds like yours is a tough scenario."

Patsy: "If that dirt bag doesn't pay child support; I'm hiring a hit man!"

Henson: "Now now...that wouldn't do either of us any good!"



Henson: "A yes, Darci! Looking sharp as ever! Tell me now...why are you looking so upset?"

Darci: "Not so much upset, as just...well...I'm perplexed, Harry!"

Henson: "Hmm...good to know only one of my lovely ladies is grouchy."

Patsy: "I heard that!"

Darci: "Mack's going on and on about the headlines! We apparently have a giant centipede on the loose, and no name or graphics. That's not a good start!"



Henson: "So I've heard."

Darci: "And...well...every headline is similar! We're way behind on the event, and we need to spin this somehow in our favor? How?"

Henson: "Does this centipede even have a name?"



Before too long, Henson's Down's-inflicted daughter, Hannah P., decided to join in.



Henson: "Hannah! What brings you here? Your date with Jordan go okay?"

Hannah: "He...stuck himself!"

Henson: "Stuck?"

Hannah: "A man and car show up! He try fix car! It fall! He say me go! Bad date!"

Darci: "And you tell us this now? I doubt at this point that it's even still newsworthy!"

Henson: "No worries, Darci! We'll get the headlines."



Darci: "We have less than three hours..."

Mack: "Fewer!"

Darci: "Oh...fine! Fewer than three hours to come up with a name for this orange freak, or we'll probably fail in the ratings! Look at Knock-48 across the street! They're still riding on the coattails of having named both Emeraldon and Sapphire King!"

Mack: "Where's Terry?"

Patsy: "Hiding from me!"

Mack: "Fine. Let's all be fair! We need to reach on consensus."



Terry: "Hi everyone, sorry I'm running late! You'll never believe what happened! Some punk stopped me at the bridge and robbed me! My...cat is…gone!”

Mack: “You sure you ain’t drinking? Why the Hell would that guy want your cat?” *



Patsy: "What's up? I'll tell you what's up! I've got your kid, punk! And you're going to the abyss for it! Just as soon as I drag you there myself!"

Henson: "Patsy, easy, gal! You love children best when you love their father as well! This doesn't have to be a war!"



Terry: "Well...if it's any consolation to you...I never said we had to get married!"

Patsy: (gaping jaw) "We'll...sort this out later!"



Mack: "Hate will do no good now, Patsy! Besides, remember when I warned you that you were drinking too much?"

Patsy: "You stay out of this!"



Henson: "Well..with that in mind...shouldn't we turn our attention back to what we're really here for?

We have this whole studio to ourselves, due to that conference and the strike and all that! What is this centipede's name?"

Terry: "Centi-Man!"

Patsy: "With boobs? Get real, jerk! Centi-Woman!"

Darci: "You're both uncreative! Centick!"

Henson: "Gee...this is going over worse than my global warming panel! Uh...how about...Centi-Girl?"



Hannah: "Sempeezie!!!"

Terry: "Sempeezie? That's got nothing to do with...ANYTHING!!! Scolopendra!"

Darci: "Too long, show off!"

Patsy: "Hey, that's my line!"

Mack: "Wait! Remember how those Mexicans in the video takes kept shouting something at her?"



Henson: "Wait! Mack might be on to something!"

Hannah: "They go: 'Sempeezie! Sempeezie!' Her name's Sempeezie!"

Mack: "Wait...she's not trying to say Sempeezie, everyone, she's trying to say...Ciempiés! They called her…Ciempiés! Over...and over! I say we fly with Ciempiés. It...has a nice ring to it."



Henson: "Say...I actually like the idea! Though...Ciempiés? Why not shorten it to...Ciem! I'm sure she won't mind us doing it! She can always correct us later!"

Darci: "Who is...Ciem? This will either really fly with the other networks, or make us complete laughingstocks! I guess we have nothing to lose though."



Announcer: "Welcome to 26 News at 6! With your hosts, Terry Silverberg and Darci Lane!"

Darci: "Who is Ciem? That is the question on the minds of all Dirbine and Viron residents this evening!"



Terry: "That's right! Is there more to this orange vigilante than just what we've seen? Where does she disappear to? What is she really trying to hide?"

Darci: "Reports are that the missing Maria Sanmarcos, believed to have been abducted by the notorious Kerpher Gang, is now safe at home with her family, thanks in part to Ciem!"

Terry: "She is also rumored to have destroyed the last remnants of the Kerpher Gang, and even has the city's biggest menace, Musaran, on the run!"



Darci: "Well...I wouldn't so much say...on the run! More like...now he actually has a challenge!"

Terry: "Aren't centipedes and shrews natural enemies?"

Darci: "Exactly! And we're seeing this play out in our streets now!"



Terry: "We have yet to find out exactly what motivates this strange being to act the way she does, but as several local residents have stated: 'As long as we have someone who will do what the police will not, then we're safer off'!"

* This is an allusion to the movie Anchorman.